you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
