I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
