She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Couch. On fire.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
