I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
