i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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