You really coming over, don't trick.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
please come you make the beer taste better
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
