The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Are we still banned from the library?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
