What did we do last night that was yellow?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
