just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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