I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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