you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
