Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Holy shit dude........stairs
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
