My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
