he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
