after a month anything with tits is on the radar
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize