You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
