I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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