I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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