I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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