new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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