This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
