Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude i'm inner monologue high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
