do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is her dick bigger than yours?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
