There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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