Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
