i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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