4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize