Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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