i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
