Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
