I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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