just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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