smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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