so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
