u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
