I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
