you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
