His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
