don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
