Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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