As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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