I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
