So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
