so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
