i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
