i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
