come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
