Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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