Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In other news, I just burned my penis
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
