I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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