sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
