Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
