I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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