i just had sex bonerless
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
