Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
